After almost eight months we were back on our beloved European continent. Lisbon was cold but welcoming. I was euphoric to see Europe again and nearly kissed the soil, but I also started to get very anxious about going to Sweden. I have been away for long periods of time on many occasions but had never experienced a homecoming without my mother’s presence. There are so many frightening firsts to go through when loosing someone.
The pretty Portuguese facades helped a little…
…as did the pretty views. We leisurely strolled around, and talked about the first time I visited Lisbon with my mother some 25 years ago. She had the wonderful ability to make every occasion feel romantic and adventurous. Life was never dull or gloomy in her presence.
When I think about my nationality I often think of myself as European rather than Swedish. The EU might not be a smooth operator in all aspects, but I feel that it has created a sense of togetherness between Europeans. What an awful word “togetherness” is! It sound like an expression of a life coach, or a team building activity lecturer. I think I prefer thinking about the EU as a fellowship, as if invented by Tolkien.
One of my favourite things about Europe is that it is so walkable – the whole continent is made for strolling, flâneuring, hiking and walking. I have not found this to be the case anywhere else in the world. I especially remember once when I asked for directions in Anchorage, Alaska, the very kind and helpful local said that it simply wasn’t possible to walk and that I would need a car (public transport never seems an option outside of NYC) – it turned out to be five blocks away and about 15 minutes walk…
After our day in Lisbon we started the very last leg of the cruise, with our sails set for England. The proximity to London is very obvious in this photo.
We were happily surprised to arrive at Gravesend, which is the harbour where Marlow is retelling his African adventures in Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. Life is a never ending story of cultural associations.
We were now days from home and this dragon, resident of Guildhall Great Hall, pretty much sums up how I was seeing my future. Within days I was supposed to get back to the harsh reality, after living in an escapist bubble for nearly a year.
Luckily I had the support of my favourite men. Hiding from reality in dark historic pubs proved to be an excellent idea. Here we are sitting in the very seat where Dickens used to have his pint back in the olden days (among many other pubs).
Gordon is showing off and maybe exaggerates a little…
…and goes on about it several hours later when we exit Dr Johnson’s museum 🙂 Jokes aside, Gordon tends to gesticulate vividly.
With heavy hearts we had to leave our friends and London behind to board yet another train, the wonderful Eurostar, and begin the very last leg of our journey back to Stockholm. We were at least leaving in style, from one of the prettiest railway stations I know.
We traveled through 4 continents, 20 countries (9 were new to us, 11 we had visited previously); 30,000 km by land, 24,100 km by sea and 5,100 by air. Totalling nearly 60,000 km. Meaning we traveled 1.5 times around the world, although not actually circumnavigating the world, in approximately 220 days. Not very impressive if compared to Phileas Fogg, but much less stressful and competitive. This makes me think of the extraordinary journalist Nellie Bly, who beat Phileas’ fictional record in 72 days.
It always amazes me how easy traveling is, and how friendly and helpful most people are on this planet. We did not miss a single bus or train, nothing was ever stolen, no one even tried to cheat us (just the customary haggling), every single step was smooth as silk. My least favourite parts were the two flights, and the bus ride from China to Laos. My favourite parts were all the train rides, experiencing Central Asia, and encountering new and old friends.
Looking back it is sad to think of the reasons we left on this trip. The grief was so intense and palpable that it almost felt like a person, as if we were a drifting troika, instead of our usual decisive duo.
I am writing this 1,5 years after we got back, and almost 2,5 years after she passed, and I have now come to a stage where I feel deeply and truly grateful for having her in my life for 35 years. I can still be bitter and enraged for not getting another 30 or so years, which I had always expected, but I have realised how many people that never got to experience such a magical relationship with their mothers at all, so I have decided to settle with the years that I got. After all there is not much I can do, besides remembering her.